Family Law: What Type of Attorney Do You Really Need?

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     What Type of Attorney do You Really Need?

           Do You Want to Win? You Don’t Care?

Do you have a case where you want to win, or need to win your case?

Do you have the winning facts?  Do you know what law would or would not support your position? Do you want or need an actual litigator for your case?

Hiring an advocate (attorney litigator) is not the same as hiring collaborative attorneys. Also, mediating* a case with only one attorney means …The mediator helps people talk the issues through, supposedly helping to “settle” the dispute themselves. In this attorney’s opinion, it would not be recommended in most cases, because typically the overbearing spouse simply bulldozes the other spouse.

*[Mediation for visitation is not the same thing as mediation of an entire divorce case. Mediation for visitation/custody is required by law when there is no agreement.]

There are many pitfalls that can arise in divorce; many of them involve financial transactions that one spouse had no knowledge of; assets that one spouse did not know about; children that were conceived outside the marriage and spouse never knew other spouse was paying; secret business dealings that was predicated on all cash; illegal actions by one spouse implicating the other spouse who had no knowledge; large debts racked up by one spouse, without the other spouse even knowing such debt existed; one spouse signing the other spouse’s name for a credit card, then ruining the other spouse’s credit…. NONE of these things, in this attorney’s opinion, should be addressed in either mediation or collaborative law scenario.

That is because there was a huge breach of fiduciary duty that has serious consequences to the guilty spouse. That should be done in court since the guilty spouse should have to pay for wrongdoing. (Of course if you are too afraid because your spouse might try and kill you then you better go get help right away.)

Especially if you have issues in the 3 lines below, which happened BEFORE the case finalized—- you should never hire anyone except an advocate litigator. Aggressive at that. Plus, there are huge time barriers to trying to set aside any of this!

Fraud, Duress

Mistake, Coercion,

Failure to Exchange Declarations (Assets Debts)

We live in a society where people often want what they want, and when clients hire attorneys to get something done, especially in family law, it’s often because one SIDE tried to take advantage of the other side.  If you have a family law case where both of you AGREE on everything then of course you don’t really need an attorney, except perhaps to create a settlement agreement.

fighting again

HOWEVER, the vast majority of most divorces and break ups, is because the couple cannot agree on a lot of things, including (just an example….) post judgment orders………

How to raise the kids– too lenient?  too strict?

How to spend income from employment or inheritance

How to train kids  to have moral values

How to get along with other family members that don’t live with you

How to avoid too much tv, too much bad influence, too much Facebook?

What to do with a lazy spouse that refuses to help out–with anything?

What to do with spouse that is either dangerous, aggressive, drinks too much

How to get out of supervised visits?? You have an ex spouse also?

Spouse drinks, smokes, gambles, does drugs, shops too much? Hoarding?

Spouse AND kids do nothing but stay on Facebook and phone 24/7??

Your kids are not only lazy, they are spoiled rotten and you blame the spouse?

Your spouse is bipolar and can’t be controlled?

Of all the problems attorney has seen over several decades, the problems around children tend to generate the worst issues, followed by physical harm, financial issues, and alcohol or drug use.images (34)

And remarkably, attorney has seen clients REFUSE to take what he/she is entitled to, and then SETTLE a case by using an attorney who ONLY settles cases— in other words, the attorney is not a litigator. That is absurd.

If you are entitled to something, why would you pay someone to settle a case when you could have settled it without help????   Collaborative law and mediation means if you don’t settle the case using whomever you hired, those attorneys cannot represent you in court anyway.

You THEN have to hire new attorneys!!   While mediation and collaborative may be good for some cases (which means you are settling case by paying people to settle it without court)– it is essentially negotiation. Judges are not involved. If you work something out and then don’t like it later— what you have is a problem.  For example, if your spouse refuses to do what the order states (let’s say it says to pay spousal support for a certain amount for a specific time ), and your spouse leaves the state and quits his job– do you know how difficult that is going to be to get your spouse into compliance???? It’s going to be VERY expensive, and VERY difficult, requiring most likely, having to pay an attorney out of the state to help fix it?

Some of the down sides of  collaborative law (which includes hiring people like accountants and other experts) and makes it costly:

The Expense; Impact of termination and cost of new counsel; No advocacy for one or both parties; directed conversation between parties, power imbalances, difficult issues might remain secret (such as domestic violence, addictions, drugs, gambling, infidelities,etc.); Possible inadequate information collection, potentially less support for views of children.

Basically, in mediation there is no advocate for YOU.  In collaborative law, BOTH sides work on issues, but NO ONE is an advocate for YOUR side.  The collaborative view is to work out issues, not really take sides as an advocate—-a true advocate is there to represent YOU, not the spouse.

This is part of the reason that most people in a divorce WANT an advocate, and need a litigator — because they are being taken advantage of, steamrolled, or being misled or manipulated. Get help today, and find out why it matters!!  

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